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Oct 05

Big girl time…

With Jessica’s new schedule – I’ve had to work hard at finding time with her.  Not just for she and I, but also to make a concerted effort to give her time alone with her daddy and with Julianna.  She gets a lot of time with Sam, just by virtue of the fact that he likes to be in her face all the time, but I know that she misses the time alone with her baby sister.  I’ve taken over driving her to school every morning and at least once a week, she and I head out to the library.  We wander for books, talk about things that went on that day, what my childhood was like, how it’s different and how it’s the same as her own life. 

I find it fascinating – so much of motherhood is just responding to various needs.  With a breastfeeding five month old and a four year old and a seven year old, much of my time is taken up in just caring for them.  I’ve always got dishes to do, I’ve always got laundry that needs to be washed and always got a load or two waiting to be folded.  And my kids are great, legitimately.  I genuinely enjoy hanging out with them – but Jess is morphing into not being just my baby girl, not just my little girl, but a person in her own right.  And I love it – she’s smart and gorgeous and kind and loving.  She’s just absolutely mind-blowingly exactly who I always wanted her to be – and I can’t possibly express how incredibly proud I am of her, and how incredibly grateful I am for her in my life.

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