It’s no secret that I wanted more children. Not enough to go off birth control and get pregnant, at least not yet. And at 43, the likelihood that it’s going to happen now is limited. With Jessie going into high school, Julianna moving into second grade, and homeschooling Sam with his vision issues… I don’t have the time, really, to start all over again.
Instead, I got a dog.
I didn’t get Lucky to fulfill a need to take care of a small creature that needs me desperately. But in reality, that’s what happened. And that’s why I’m up bright and early at five o’clock, taking care of my dog who’s having a seizure. Again.
So much fatigue…
Which reinforces – if I needed another reason, on top of wanting to be fully present for Jessie going into high school, Julianna starting to navigate the upper reaches of elementary school (moving out of the shelter of Sue Gravel and into the school at large) and getting Sam educated, whole and healthy – the reality that I’m too tired to think about having another baby. I’ve got an epileptic dog to worry about.