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Apr 14

Apathy, thy name is Melissa

Just got back from Elm Park… and I’m tired and even though my house is in shambles, I feel like doing nothing. I fed my children, set them up with beans and hot dogs and Max and Ruby – and am officially declaring myself on break for the next twenty minutes or so.

Had a rough day today with Jess, she just flat out doesn’t like going to school. She’s fine when she’s there, voluntarily does her homework, seems to be thriving academically and socially, but every single morning, she begs to stay home. Sometimes with tears and mournful resignation, sometimes with anger and frustration, but either way, she’s always on the verge of losing it. There are mornings when we maintain a smile all day long, but it’s only a result of relentless cheeriness on my part, I keep maniacally grinning all morning long, singing to her and never ever letting myself scream “would you just freaking put on your clothes already and stop complaining!”

Then Sam hammered my living room window, breaking a big hole in it and extending up this cobweb crack thru the rest of it. To be fair, I had never actually told him not to hammer the window. And he was so pleased with himself, so utterly satisfied with a job well done… And I thought to myself that this probably isn’t the first window he’ll break, and I might as well get used to it.

But the sun is shining, and both kids are clean (bath last night – yeah, Sam screamed like a mad man thru the whole thing) and the house isn’t all that dirty. Just cluttered. A lot. Marc’s going to the gym tonight, so it’s just me and the two cherubs here. Wish me luck, because I have no motivation at the moment….

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