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Jun 09

Did it again

I’ve created a little Mommy’s Girl. It didn’t take that long, about six weeks. (which is ironically, six weeks longer than it took for me to create a Mommy’s Boy, as Sam came out of the womb with separation anxiety). Julianna was very much a “pass the baby” kind of girl. She liked being held by pretty much anyone for the first several weeks, but now that’s she’s almost six weeks, she’s developed a hard core Mommy preference. Poor Marc said to me this morning, “She really doesn’t have much use for me.” And I felt so sad for him, because mornings used to be his special time with Julie, he’d take her from me when he first got up and hang with her until I managed to choke down the first cup of coffee. And now she just fusses thru that time, or screams hysterically until I take her back.

Not sure if it’s the kids or if it’s me. There’s a part of me that loves being the end all, be all for my babies. I love that I can quiet them with just a touch of my hand, or my voice is enough to make them feel safe and relaxed. With Jessie and especially with Sam, I had this incredibly tight bond with them from the very beginning. Sam, in fact, was only calm when he was latched on. And for as much as I panicked at the thought of Julie not having that connection with me, on that day that she wouldn’t latch on, she’s as fully attached as the other two. Today’s a rough day for Julie, she’s been alternately crying, nursing or spitting up all morning. She has dozed off a few times, but never for long. Right now, she’s laying face down on my lap, bouncing. It’s one of her favorite positions, and when I know that she can’t possibly be hungry, and my breasts are so sore from nursing for hours, it’s the best way to hold her and not have her up against my chest. If she’s near the boobs, she wants them :-)

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