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Jan 11

Overwhelmed

I’m feeling especially stressed and overwhelmed right now. We’re coming down to the end of Sam’s semester and I’m looking at a biology test that looks awful to me. I did not thrive in high school biology. And because I’m the one translating all this to him because he can’t see it, if I don’t know the answer, I assume that he doesn’t either. We’re moving towards getting him independent and on his own, and I’d love to not feel responsible for his grades, but we aren’t there yet.

Julie is sick. She was exposed to covid and tested negative last week, but started showing symptoms last Saturday. We’re still waiting for covid test results from yesterday’s test, and hoping like hell that nobody else starts showing any symptoms. Jessie is working with toddlers, and terrified of getting sick.

Sam is throwing up. Again. I feel like Sisyphus, constantly pushing the rock up the mountain, thinking I’ve got it, and then it rolls back down and I have to start all over again. He’s been sick since mid-November, and I don’t know why. He’s been on two antibiotics, and maybe is starting another cold again – but it’s constant sore throat, stuffiness, and vomiting. I’m frustrated and helpless and afraid I’m going to get on the zoom appt and just start sobbing because there are no answers ever, and I can’t figure out how to get him healthy.

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