Yeah, it’s time for another stop-complaining-about-your-life-and-be-grateful-for-what-you-have-and-quit-focusing-on-whats-bugging-you post. It’s been a rough few weeks, and I’m frazzled and frustrated and impatient all the time. So, more of a reminder for myself than anything else – here’s a list of what I love most about my life.
1. My husband. We’ve been together almost eleven years, and he’s my best friend and constant source of support. He’s always, always on my side and I’ve never once doubted that marrying him was the best decision I ever made.
2. My Jessica. She’s smart and funny and kind and exactly what I always, always wanted. She and I snuggled up in bed last night together and laughed and laughed together. She’s got the best sense of humor and the older she gets, the more I like her.
3. My Samilicious Boy. He’s so damn cute, with his hair growing out in what he hopes will be a “Sheldon Cooper haircut.” He’s loving first grade, happy as can be. He’s exactly who I always hoped he’d be, happy and confident and secure in who he is and where he’s going. Watching him thrive is such a rewarding part of parenting.
4. My Julianna Ruth. She’s my hardest parenting challenge right now, and adjusting to preschool is terribly difficult on both of us. My girl is struggling to figure out who she is, and forming an identity without me there.
5. I’m grateful for my own ability to see that sometimes what’s easiest isn’t what’s best. As hard as sending her to preschool is, and as wrong as it feels to watch her be sad and scared, I know that the lessons she’s learning are so valuable. Learning to trust, to feel comfortable without me there is something that will help her so much later on. I know that, and even though my instincts are to swoop her up and take her home with me forever, I know that she needs this.
6. I’m also grateful that I can see the positive results every afternoon at pick up. Because Girlfriend is so proud of herself, and so happy. There’s no way to not see that preschool is wonderful for her, not when you see her afterwards.
7. I’m grateful for a working car, and the ability to pay the insurance and put gas in it. Because I spend more time there than anywhere else, and I’m glad that the radio works (even if it’s quirky and will only play one station, at least it’s a station I like most of the time).
8. I’m grateful for the PJ Library, and the free Jewish music CD’s they send me periodically. I don’t know Hebrew at all, but I do know that watching Julie dance and sing in the backseat in a language I don’t understand is actually one of my favorite parts about being in the car so much.
9. I’m grateful for Worcester Public Library – that’s it’s close, the hours are super convenient, and it keeps me and my kids stocked up with good books to read. My life would be significantly more stressful if I couldn’t chill out with a book, and there’s no way I’d ever be able to afford the steady diet of books if I was buying them instead of borrowing them. My kids get new books every single time we go, and they’re so much more open to reading because it’s such a big part of my life. The library is single-handedly responsible for that.
10. I’m grateful for good friends, who volunteer to take over the Box Tops for me when I realize I’m drowning in volunteer responsibilities, and ones introduce my daughter to Jane Austin. It would never have occurred to me to give Jessie Pride and Prejudice to read, and she’s loving it. The friends that invite us over for dinner to hang out, and the ones who drop their kids off here so my kids have best friends to run around with. I’m grateful for the ones that call me and don’t hate me when I don’t remember to call back.
I’m also grateful for a few quiet moments, Doc McStuffins and potato chips and ketchup (don’t judge me, it kept the girl quiet enough for me to get this blog post done). Because I need this – I need quiet and calm and peace, just a few minutes, now and then. To center, to breathe and in the end, to write. Because writing is what enables me to step back and see my life not for the harried, stress-filled, errand running, laundry folding, dinner preparing hot mess it seems to be, but rather the amazingly blessed, completely fulfilled and content life that it is. I’m exactly where I want to be, with children I adore and a man I can’t imagine my life without. I’ve got ambitions and goals, and dreams that are just on the horizon.
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