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Sep 10

Controlled Chaos

I’m still here, my poor little blog.  I don’t mean to be so incredibly neglectful, it’s just that my life has suddenly gotten ridiculously busy.

Everything changes, in life.  I mean, it changes in everyone’s life, but when you have children, the stages and milestones come so quickly.  As soon as you get used to being up every couple of hours, they start sleeping longer and longer.  As soon as you adjust to having a tiny baby, they start sitting up and then crawling and then walking – and the whole thing is this constant process of adjusting.

There was a time, not that long ago, when I was at home.  An AT HOME mom.  I scheduled my day around naptime, and literally days would go by and I’d have no compelling reason to get in the car for anything.  We’ve been a one car family for most of our marriage, and up until recently, I would have Marc take the car because it was just easier that way.

It’s not like that anymore.

My days now are a blur of running, running, running.  Yesterday (and this is a pretty typical day for me), I got up early, dropped Sam off at school, Jessie off at the bus stop and Julie off at preschool.  Before dropping Julie off, we stopped at the store and bought bagels for snack after school.  Then I went to a meeting with the finance VP at the synagogue, dashed home and picked up Marc.  We voted (primary day in MA) and then picked Julie up at preschool.  Jules and I dropped Marc at work and then went shopping to pick up snacks for the religious school at Sam’s Club.

I had an hour and a half to kill, so we came home, I swept, vacuumed, loaded the dishwasher and had lunch with Julie.  Then we trooped back to the car and picked up Samilicious Boy and then headed across town to pick up Jessica.  There’s a twenty minute window between parking the car and Jessie getting out, and Sam has discovered a tree fort under a bunch of bushes (a bush fort?) so he stayed in there with a couple of other kids.  Once we had Jessie, I drove back over to the synagogue, settled everyone into the library for homework.  Jessie had her study session with the cantor and the boys finished up their homework. We headed outside to wait, Harrison got picked up, Jessie came out.  We shot down to the grocery store (second time, or third, if you count Sam’s Club) and got frozen pizzas for dinner and I dropped them off at David and Aviva’s.  I bopped down to Know Your School Night at Sam’s school, got out late, and had just enough time to pick up Marc before heading back to pick up the kids and finally made it home around nine.

In other news – everyone is still thriving.  Jessie is loving her new school, Sam adjusted to second grade like he’d never even thought of hating school, and Julianna literally cheered when I pulled into the preschool parking lot yesterday.  This is why I kept sending them to school, because I hoped that this day would come.  I wanted them to love going, to be excited about learning, to have friends and peer companionship and laughter and silliness.  And all of that is happening now.

Marc is working full time and still studying for his exams – before taking his new job, he has to get accreditation for a bunch of different types of insurance.  Things are crazy and hectic and always dancing ever-closer to super stressful, but we’re trying to stay focused and connected.  My calendar is always within arms reach, it seems, and I check it constantly to make sure I’m not missing anything.  I miss stuff anyway… because I also seemed to have stepped up dramatically the volunteer commitments this year.  It’s a lot easier to say yes than it is to say no, and I have to really be careful about being deliberate about my choices.  Not only making them deliberately, but then owning and being happy about the decisions made.

I’m busy now, crazy insane busy, but that’s just where we are.  I’ve got three growing kids, a husband who’s working essentially two jobs and this is what our lives look like right now.  And it’s kind of awesome – yes, it’s super busy and chaotic, and I’m a little bit worried about what it’ll feel like when I’ve (we’ve) been maintaining this schedule over the long-term, but for now – I’m just focusing on enjoying this stage.  Because one thing is for certain, it won’t last forever.  The day will come, not that far from now, when Jessie will be driving and Julie will be in school full time and Sam will be taller than I am – and I’ll miss the days when I loaded them in the car every morning and set out for a day of adventure.

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