Full circle

Jessie and Sam didn’t go trick or treating this year.

Jessie’s taller than I am, and I think she felt like she’d look ridiculous trick or treating.  She was happy to stay home and dole out candy to kids at our house.  Sam had two problems – one being that his vision at night is terrible, and the other being that he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to eat all the candy he wanted, because his taste buds are still messed up.  Not as much as it was, but enough so that all night would be constant reminder of what he’d lost.

So Marc and I took Julie out trick or treating solo.

It actually isn’t even full circle, because I feel like we never took Jessie out trick or treating by herself.  Maybe when she was a toddler, but after that – we always went with a group.  Glennys, Sarah and Lilli, then Sam and Harrison and Julia, Jordyn, I think we’ve gone with Aviva’s kids, and Virginia’s kids.  Even this year, we had Devin and Aiden with us for the first half before we dropped them off.

But this year – it was just Marc and I.  And a dog who’s desperate to get a hold of some of these trick or treaters, because she’s got to love on them immediately.  It was lovely – just the three of us (and the slightly rabid dog) wandering around trick or treating.

One of the things I try really hard to do is be in whatever place I’m in, if that makes sense.  I tried hard to really be grateful for the chaos, for the kids all over the place and the insanity and fun that comes from taking fifteen kids trick or treating at once.  And I worried that I’d be sad, now that the stage in my life is over.  I’m winding down, in the parenting of little kids stage.  Not finished with it, but it’s slowing down.  And I loved it – walking around with my husband, trying to sneak adult conversation in between reminding her to say Happy Halloween and trying to save the dog from choking herself on her own leash.  Watching my baby girl, my last little baby, go up to each house and smile bravely and talk to strangers – always a challenge with her.

I had the nicest of nights, and the fact that we came home, and Julie was so excited to show the older kids what she got, and to divide up all of it, combined with the leftovers from we didn’t hand out – and share it with the two of them.

Happy Halloween.