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Jul 30

My angel girl

Jessica Mary Carruth Cohen – I named you after my mother, because I could not imagine a better mother/daughter relationship than the one that she and I share. Then I had you – and you defined love to me in a way that it had never been defined before. You were my first child, my angel baby girl, and from the very beginning, you have fascinated me, amazed me, humbled me and made me feel so incredibly blessed and lucky to have you in my life. At six and a half, I can see the glimmers of the woman you’ll be, but always, always, I see that teeny, tiny little baby with huge eyes and the most beautiful face.
I remember once, when you were about six months old, and you were sitting on the floor and I had walked away from you. You started to whimper, and my aunt looked at me and said “Melissa, you are spoiling her.” I remember telling her that I hadn’t done anything – you were like that from the beginning. An innate sense of drama, emotional highs and lows. Life is huge for you – whatever is happening matters more than anything at that particular moment. You have joys and sorrows that affect you deeply, I worry sometimes that you make life harder for yourself than you have to. But the other side of that is that you have a capacity for happiness that far exceeds most people, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful.
You are frilly and completely feminine, but with a lovely sense of doing it just because you like frills and prettiness, not about looking good for other people but because you want to look good for you. You love dressing up, but hate brushing your hair. Love pretty hair bows and beautiful dresses, but are just as happy in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. You love being outside, but are equally happy holed up in your bedroom, playing with your figurines or your baby dolls. You LOVE to read and to be read to, and fall asleep every night cuddled up against me.
You are an amazing big sister to Sam almost all the time. You are kind and sweet, but fight and argue and battle for control. You and Sam are best friends and worst enemies all at the same time. And while it makes me nuts when you fight, far more often, you make my heart melt by going out of your way to protect him, to teach him and to love him. His life is infinitely richer because you are in it.
I love you, baby girl. You make me happier than anything in the world, and I’m forever grateful that I get to be your mother.

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