Sam’s officially potty trained – at least at home, and I’d say about 50% of the time when we go out, he stays dry. He’s still in a pull up at night, and has some serious reservations about using anyone else’s potty, or going potty when there are other people here who might comment on it. But all in all, he’s pretty much good to go. So very proud, and he’s such a big, grown up boy. When Marc and I were first talking about having another baby, Marc was hesitant because Sam still seemed so little – but in the past seven months, he’s given up the afternoon nap, potty trained himself and weaned. I had hoped… but he’s just blown me away with how quickly he suddenly grew up. He’s nowhere near a baby any more. And it seems right and good, that he’s grown this much and is such a big boy – but there’s a part of me that’s crying on the inside because my baby is gone.
Jess is doing well at school – she’s been slacking off a bit on homework, she actually got her homework sent home to be re-done today after she got about a third of it wrong. She’s reading more and more, and maybe I’m so excited about that and losing sight of having to get her to pay more attention to what she’s doing. She doesn’t like homework (who does?) and I think that she’s just finishing it to say that it’s done and not actually working at it.
And getting ready for baby… I moved Sam’s clothes to the other dresser (which makes sense really only if you’re at my house), which frees up the bigger dresser for her clothes. I’ve got a lot already, some new, some hand-me-downs from Jess and some hand-me-downs from my neighbor’s twins. Today, I set up a really cool portacrib with a bassinette attachment that I found on craigslist. I’m rearranging things to make more space for her – not just the portacrib, but finding space for the swing, the rocking chair, all the baby stuff that you need.
In a lot of ways, this is my most anticipated baby – because I’ve got both Jess and Sam waiting with baited breath to see her. But it’s definitely the one baby I’ve spent the least amount of money prepping for. And most of that is that I’ve been there already. Twice. So I know that there’s no point in getting a crib – Jessie barely used hers and Sam never used his. I know that baby equipment is better when it’s used, because that way you can save your money for take out when you can’t possibly muster up the energy to cook. I know that buying a couple of outfits is fun because they are so incredibly cute, but hand-me-downs are perfect for babies because they grow so fast. I know I don’t need a baby monitor – I don’t actually put my baby down long enough to need it. I know I need a lot of burp cloths and bibs, and those are still on the list to get.
I just can’t wait for her. I’m obsessing over labor, trying to guess when it’ll happen, trying to work out where the kids will go, looking forward to that first time I nurse her, the first time she falls asleep in my arms. I’m waiting to see Sam’s face when he sees her for the first time, and Jessie’s when she picks her up in her arms. I’m eager to see Marc holding his baby girl, probably his last baby. He’s such a great dad, and he loves, loves, loves babies. I just want to hold her. I’d so much rather have her be here than still be pregnant. I know she’s not ready, and I’m not asking for a preemie – I just want to have my baby and not be pregnant any more.