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May 13

SEriously – remind me that I WANT to breastfeed this child

Because really – I DO. I do, I swear. The formula constipates her, gave her horrible gas. I love nursing. I’m not seriously thinking about giving up, but it’s crossed my mind a couple of times (couple being a bit of an understatement). My left breast is super sore and now bleeding. I checked with some of my internet nursing buddies (thanks again JoEllen for the advice) and am hoping to work my way thru it, but nursing has been so much more of a battle this time around.

With Jess, she just latched on and went. Sometimes she’d fight the breast, but I could trick her with the pacifier and then whip it out and latch her on to get her to feed. It wasn’t a problem with her. We had thrush, but it was just a little blip, no big deal. And she nursed great until she was about eight months.

With Sam – he was just a nursing champ right from the beginning. Always latched on, always nursed great. The first time he slept thru the night, I got mastitis, but it cleared up fast. I had a blocked duct once too, and thrush. But they both cleared up quickly, and my biggest problem with him was oversupply because he nursed so consistently that I was making oceans more milk than he needed.

With Julianna – I feel like it’s one battle after another. No sooner did I get her nursing than we get thrush and this time, it’s so incredibly painful and I’m afraid that I’m going to end up with mastitis because I’m scared to nurse her again on the bleeding nipple.

It’s a good thing she’s so gorgeous and wonderful and sweet and I’m achingly in love with her. Because breast milk is best, and I want that for her and for me. I’m not missing out on this with her – she’s my last little baby. We’re GOING to have a successful nursing relationship – even if it makes me crazy getting there.

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