This will come as no surprise to most of you, but I really, really don’t like mornings. And now that Sam is going to school, I have a special dislike of them. Because he’s going to school, and he’s SO GOOD about it. After years of Jessie being angry that she’s got to go, Sam’s sadness in the mornings is so much harder to take. I know that it’s just that Sam is what’s now, and Jessie is mostly (with the notable exception of this morning) so much better now, it seems like his is worse. But Sam cries pretty much every morning, sadly, with resignation, and goes in every day, and Julie screams and sobs when I get out of the car to bring him in. Marc drops us off, and I haul Sam’s poor butt into school and throw a kiss Jessie’s way as she charges off to the third grade area.
I’m the first to admit that I’m a wussy mom in a lot of respects – notably, I don’t like leaving my kids crying. For the most part – if they really don’t want to go somewhere, I don’t make them. If they’ve been invited for a playdate and start crying at the drop-off, I’ll take them home with me or stick around and hang out with the mom. If I’ve lined up a sitter, and they start crying hard at the prospect of being left behind, if it’s possible, I’ll take them with me. I don’t leave them crying. Now suddenly, I do that every morning with Sam. I make Julie scream every morning. And I hate it with every fiber of my being.
It’s like I have to remain sunshiney delighted all the time to maintain Jessie’s enthusiasm and try to bolster Sam’s up, and deep down inside, I really just want to sob along with him, let Jessie sleep in, and keep everyone home with me forever.
The upside is that Jessie is pretty happy most mornings to go, and Sam always says he had a wonderful day. Jessica is obviously thriving, she loves third grade, and Sam is always coming home happy and content. I know that this is what’s best – Sam is learning and growing so much, and Jessie really, really seems to be doing great this year. So I know that’s it’s good that they go – but mornings continue to be the worst part of my day.
In other news – we’re officially on the hunt for a van. We’re actually looking at conversion vans instead of a minivan, because they’re cheaper. And in some cases, nicer. One ad claims that if we buy his van, it’ll be just like driving in our living room. Our volvo has performed admirably for the last several years, but it’s over fifteen years old, and it’s tired. We’ve outgrown it – the older three won’t sit in the way back anymore, and we need to replace the tires, the power steering hose and probably the pump. So we’re car searching. Actually, Marc’s car searching, as this is somewhat outside of my comfort zone. I don’t know cars at all, and don’t really care what we end up with, as long as it’ll drive well and be pretty.
Busy, busy weekend here, Annie and Glenny were down, which was delightful, and Jordyn, Sarah and Joshua (Virginia’s kids) were here all day on Sunday. Am putting the house back together slowly… plus Mike Wilder gave me a lawnmower, so that’s on my list to do to (the backyard, I already did the front). I’m finding that I really enjoy mowing the lawn – it’s the one chore that I do where the results LAST for a while. Vacuuming used to be fun, because you could enjoy the results, but with three kids, I could vacuum three times a day and still have a rug covered with blocks and cracker crumbs. Laundry used to be fun – but now I’m never actually caught up, I’ve always got a load or two to wash, a load or two to fold and oceans to put away. But mowing the lawn – that lasts for at least a week or two 🙂