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Sep 17

This is no way to live

Not that I’m actually saying that – because I’m pretty happy these days, but it’s Jessie’s new favorite phrase. Totally copying what I yell at Marc when I’m complaining about how messy the living room gets after Sam has been BUSY for a few hours.

My computer was riddled with viruses and I had no internet connection for a while. Which was sad and hard, and a little bit liberating too. But it’s back, and I missed blogging the most. There were so many moments when I thought about how I wanted to write about a particular situation and then had to remember that I couldn’t get on-line.

Much, much has been happening. Biggest news is that Marc is officially laid off, and I’m all sorts of stressed out about it. We’ve got the budget from hell for the next couple of weeks, until we start getting his unemployment checks, and even though I know six months from now, I’ll barely remember this little blip, right now, I’m worrying about money big time. We’ve painstakingly clawed our way up to borderline financial security, and having that threatened scares me. But it’s a temporary problem, and I know that. I also know that worrying about money never actually garners you more money – you are just as broke at the end of the worrying as you were when you started, and in my case, I usually end up with a killer stress migraine as well. So I’m trying hard to not lose control with the stress and the worrying – to remember that we’re all healthy, happy, and have food to eat and a roof over our head. Also a lot of potential – because Marc is brilliant and smart, and this was a deliberate choice – Marc’s company tried hard to keep him, offering him a different position, but he’d like to change careers (going into IT), and if we didn’t take the risk now, when we’d have the cushion of unemployment for a while, we’d probably never do it.

Jess is doing really well with everything, school, Hebrew School and dance. The only hitch is that suddenly she’s BUSY all the time. Monday thru Friday in school from eight until two thirty, Mondays and Wednesdays, she’s got Hebrew School from four to six, and dance class on Thursdays from four to six as well. Adding in this being the first year that she’s got actual homework each night – and it’s a recipe for disaster with my girl. Major crying jags both Wednesday and Thursday nights, and as she said tearfully to Marc “this is just no way to live, Daddy.” I’m adjusting her bedtime and trying hard to facilitate thing for her, but in the end, she’s just going to have to adjust. I don’t want to pull her from either activity – she really enjoys both, and she’s got to get homework done as well.

Sam is NOT adjusting anywhere near as well to preschool. In fact, I’ve had him home all this week. Bottom line – he flat out doesn’t like going. He’s got a bad cold, and was legitimately sick on Tuesday and Wednesday. But Monday had been a disaster when I dropped him off, he was sobbing hysterically and desperate to leave with me. He’s fine after I leave (I snuck back and peeked in the doorway after I left to make sure), but the process is hell on both of us. After talking to one of the teachers, I decided to keep him home for the rest of this week, and start going just three days a week. Hopefully it’ll get better. In the end, though, I can’t get behind dropping him off somewhere when he’s screaming and begging me to not leave him there. He’s four. He doesn’t NEED preschool. Sure, it’d be nice, but if he’s not ready, he’s not ready. I’ll force kindergarten on him, I’m not going to do it with preschool.

Julianna Ruth is just a joy. Seriously. She’s a hard-core HAPPY baby. Loves to be held, loves to rock, loves to hang with her big brother and big sisters. Smiles everytime she catches my eyes, adores her daddy. She’s just a blissful, happy, beautiful girl. I’m working on establishing a schedule for her, but haven’t gotten very far. She’s not great at napping during the day – or rather, she’s awesome about napping as long as I’m willing to sit and hold her thru it. Other than that, just sunshine and happiness all the time. We’re cautiously flirting with solids – she’s had some bananas a couple of times, but I’m not doing anything serious about it. She’s still little – and we’ve got all the time in the world to try solids.

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