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Apr 24

Throw Back Thursday – four years ago tomorrow

This is where I was and what I was doing… and here’s a pic of what my Sammy boy was doing (the first time he was brave enough to climb the green snakey thing at Elm Park.

https://www.melissaannecohen.com/perhaps-im-not-pregnant-at-all/

Just really kind of pudgy. That’s why the baby isn’t coming out – I’ve just had really bad indigestion for the past nine months.

At home for a while today – Jess spent the night at Lilli’s birthday slumber party, and was up until past midnight. With that information, I quickly decided to spend the afternoon anywhere else but here, because truly, an exhausted Jess is just no fun at all. So Becky and I are going to go see a movie. Our car is being held hostage by a mechanic, not really being held hostage, because he claims he’ll give it back eventually, but it was supposed to be ready yesterday afternoon with a brand new motor and is now there until at least sometime on Monday. This makes me a little insane, because I’m stressing out all the time anyway about how to get to the hospital and childcare arrangements (enough to make me understand why so many women go for the scheduled C-section – it’s so much easier to plan for it as opposed to living for a month knowing that at any point, you could have to throw all your plans out and rush to the hospital for three days). But I’ve been assured over and over again, by pretty much everyone, that we’ll be just fine, we have lots of friends and family, and everyone is looking forward to the opportunity to step in and help get us there and watch our kids for the duration.

Watched television last night – Marc was over at the party with both kids, and I got three or four hours of just alone time at home. And it was delightful, I walked up the street and got Chinese take out, and watched a bunch of television that I had recorded and never had time to watch. Then Marc and I had another one of our weekend battles – they aren’t bad battles, but it’s a source of conflict, simmering all the time, occasionally flaring up. I like to DO things on the weekend, and especially if there’s housework that needs to be done, I like to tackle it and get it over and done with, he likes to relax and flow thru the day. Neither of us is wrong, exactly, but neither of us is wholly right either, and we both are pretty crappy at compromising right off the bat. Add in a missing car, a super pregnant wife who’s desperate to go into labor and two kids who are delighted to sit and play Wii with him for hours, and it wasn’t a great Saturday. We resolved it, as we always do – it takes a while to get thru, because Marc’s better at avoiding conflict and I have to sometimes really push in order to get him to talk calmly about it, but in the end, we both agree that we love each other, don’t want to fight and really do work hard at understanding the other person’s point of view. I’m incredibly grateful for that – I don’t think I could handle any other kind of marriage.

I’m really looking forward to having the baby be here. I keep thinking how much better it’d be if she was here with us, instead of me pregnant with her. Not only will it be more fun – I LOVE babies, but I’d be so much calmer, so much more physically capable of everything. I would not do well with a chronic illness, and am so weary of hauling my pregnant body around – I can’t wait to be me again. Although I thought to myself this morning, as I got out of the shower – that I do really look good. Sort of earth-mother-ish, all fertile and blossoming. I didn’t gain a lot of weight with this one, I think I’m under fifteen pounds, and it’s all right in the belly.

My new goal is just to go into labor naturally. Not to have to be induced. I don’t want a c-section, I want to bounce back from this baby within a week and be good to go :-). I didn’t have to be induced with the other two, they did break my water with the girl child, but I started labor without it. Of course, I, according to that measurement, started labor with this one about three weeks ago. I’ve been contracting forever, and was two centimeters dilated at the beginning of April.

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