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Jan 15

Updates on cherubs

All is delightful here these days…

Sam is still done with nursing, and I’m still in shock over it. It was such a big part of my life for so long, and it’s still odd to be done with it. He’s getting bigger and bigger – and such a daddy’s boy. He’s my cuddly bug, prefers to be right on top of me most of the time, unless Daddy is here. In which case, he drops me like a bad habit and grafts himself to Marc’s leg.

Marc is a stereotypical guy in a lot of ways – very much into things that don’t interest me at all. Like military, guns, computer games, superheros, working out, etc. And Sam is just fascinated by all of it. Sam’s got play guns, bow and arrows, nerf shootguns, a whole bucket full of batman and other assorted superhero figurines. I think, left to my own devices, I’d lean towards keeping him away from all forms of violence – but I also feel super strongly that Marc has every right, and the responsibility, to determine what type of toys Sam plays with. If that makes any sense. Obviously, Sam’s likes and dislikes play into this – and he’s 100% into whatever Daddy happens to like. He LOVES wrestling, playing rough, racing around the house, pretending to fight the bad guys. And although it’s certainly not politically correct, I think that’s great. I think encouraging Sam to be proud of being a boy, to think that he has an obligation to protect and defend those weaker than himself is a good thing. I’ve had to throw a lot of what I thought about feminism out the window after having a boy, and seeing first hand how much he really is attracted to things that scare me. I could stifle that about him, and I see little boys who are being taught that violence is bad and guns are wrong, and I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. But in the end, the conclusion that I’ve come up with is that boys and girls are different. In the same way that Jessie just likes nurturing, Sam likes being the hunter. My dad wasn’t there when I was growing up, and I think my brothers really missed out on having a guy to teach them about being men. Sam’s got a great example ahead of him – my hope is that Sam will be the kind of man that his dad is – responsible, loving, funny, smart and confident and secure about his place in the world.

My Jessie is also growing at an alarming rate. She’s so smart and so sweet. She’s becoming more and more confident about herself socially, more even tempered of late as well. Switching up the morning routine, putting her in charge of herself, has made a dramatic difference. She’s still somewhat prone to flouncing off in dismay when things don’t go her way, but more and more, she’s catching herself and coming back out to talk about what’s bothering her. She’s still very much into baby dolls – she dresses and undressed the thirteen babies that she has, bathes them, puts them to bed. She’s really into reading as well, loves arts and crafts, and is so incredibly excited about this new baby. More and more, as she grows, I see myself in her. She’s delightfully unaware about so many things, she doesn’t care so much about fitting in with everyone, she’s got her own thing going and is totally content with that. She’s more than willing to throw down with Marc – fight on the bed is still a hugely popular game with them. One of the major advantages of changing the morning routine is that she’s become much closer to Marc. She’s snuggling with him more in the mornings, and making a point of spending time with him.

Pregnancy is whipping right along, twenty five weeks today. Starting to think more and more about the birth and coming home, and how that’ll all play out. Part of me wants the pregnancy to last forever, it’s so nice to feel the baby moving, I love getting bigger – and part of me wants the baby out right now, I’m ready for her. Not that I actually am ready, but I keep picturing her here and want to hold her right away.

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