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Dec 26

Christmas 2017

I made it.  It was my second one, post accident, and my second one after declaring that I would not fight with anyone about putting up the tree.  Happy to say that I managed, a few reposts of articles notwithstanding.  But I kept repeating that I wouldn’t argue with anyone – you do you, I’ll do me, and really, the reality is that I’ve been doing this for almost sixteen years, and my kids self-identify as Jews who celebrate Christmas, and I’m okay with that.

Most of the season was taken up in winding down at Literacy Volunteers, and dealing with Jessie’s sickness.  She’s been diagnosed with Osgood Schlatter disease, or as Julie calls it – the ocean water disease.  Basically, it means her knees hurt, nearly all the time, and always when she’s doing any sort of physical activity.  She’s also been fighting off a virus that’s taking FOREVER to go away.   She’s exhausted and grumpy and in pain, and it’s hard to watch.  Hard for her to be going thru this, and hard for everyone around her, because Jessie’s not a girl to suffer silently.

Julie is still doing great in school.  But… I don’t like it.  I just don’t like it that much.  Now that I’m homeschooling Sam, I look at education differently.  Is she being challenged, is she learning enough, could she do more?  She’s doing so well socially, and after Jessie, that’s wonderful to see.  Jessie really struggled in elementary school, so I’m extra grateful for Julie’s adaptability.  But we’re wondering about the Jewish day school in Framingham, and will be checking that out next month.  Not sure if we can even consider it, financially, but it’s worth checking out to see what kind of aid is available.

She wants to sign up for basketball.  Actually, she wanted to sign up for dance class, but the class she should be in conflicts with religious school, so… basketball it is.  I want her more active, and I think she’ll be good at it.

Sam’s doing well too.  He actually went to a Cohen family Hanukkah party.  Walked in, and actually talked to people.  Not a lot of people, and he was asking to go home twenty minutes after we got there – but he went and participated.  He spent most of our Hanukkah party and Christmas party in his room, but he came out for dinner.  He’s getting better.

I’m not ready for spring yet, and winter is barely started.  I’m happy here, in this place.  Marc’s job is going really well, and he’s happier than I’ve seen him in years.  I’m looking forward to settling into homeschooling in January, being able to really focus on what he’s learning and how to he’s learning and putting more time and energy into it.

There was a place in my life, before the accident, when things seemed so… peaceful.  Like there were little dramas that came up, but they were minor.  The kids were all healthy, Marc and I were healthy and happy.  It was… lovely.  I was so happy when the kids were little.  Busy and harried and broke most of the time, but everything was so… easy.  Then January of 2015 hit, and my whole world was thrown up and shaken around and it took literally years to get back to this place.  Where the dramas are small, and the kids are whole and healthy – and we’re just living our lives.  I didn’t take it for granted before, but now… I’m that much more aware and grateful for this time and space.  Where the kids are growing and thriving and Marc’s well and happy and I’m fulfilled and focused.

I’m ready for 2018.


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