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Apr 03

First visit to the park this year

Today was a bad day – for a whole bunch of reasons. It just was. A lot of temper tantrums, on both Jessie’s part and mine – she’d be screaming as loud as she could for as long as she could and I bit my lip so hard, trying to make sure I didn’t just slap her little screaming face… my day was filled with bad mommy moments. I never hit her, but I certainly didn’t react to her tantrums in a way that I’m proud of. When she gets super upset, we have a thing we do – we take three deep breaths together and then go to her “happy place” in her mind – a sunny day with a picnic and kites and lots of good food and time together as a family. And when I’m myself, I can pull it together and give her that stability and calmness – today, not so much… I’m not sure why it was so bad for her, if it was just a reaction to the stress of getting her eye done, the trauma of surgery and she just let it all hang out today. We also got the info from the school and I think we’ll be able to send my baby to private school for a really good education, but only if we don’t eat for the month of April. So I was on edge too.

After all the babies left, I left the leftover dinner on the table, didn’t clean a thing. Put Jess in jammies, Sam in sweats and popped them both into my double stroller and went for a nice long walk. We bounced over potholes fast to listen to Sam giggle, and Jessie sang to us. We went down slides, swang on the swings and growled at the dinosaur slide. We went over the big bridge, and waved to the “quack quacks.” It was exactly what we all needed, some time to remember that we loved each other.

Really bad day – but awfully nice night 🙂

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