It’s the background for my everything, and often I forget to notice it. I’m good at noticing the little things about motherhood, the quiet moments when everything is so sweet that it aches, or when you’re so tired and touched out and desperate for a little alone time. Parenting is my full time occupation – I write, I clean the house, but mostly, I take care of the kids. And the relationship that makes it all possible has a tendency to fade into the background.
Not in a bad way. I think it fades because it doesn’t always require that same level of attention and notice. It’s just there. I don’t ever doubt that Marc loves me more than anything, I don’t ever wonder what my life would be like without him. He’s just there, constant and unwavering. He’s my best friend, my first call. He’s my reality check. It’s precisely because he is so unwavering, because it’s so solid. It’s the background only because it’s strong enough to support everything that we’ve built on top of it.
He and I together are the foundation for the whole thing. Today I’m wishing for more time, I’m wishing for entire days when I had nothing to focus on but him, instead of the tiny amount of time we both manage to stay awake after the kids go to sleep.
I guess what I’m really saying is – anyone want to babysit? Because I miss my husband.