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Aug 27

Morning sickness and end of summer

I feel so sick right now… and I’m so glad. Yesterday, I felt pretty good all day long, and was really worried about the pregnancy. After the miscarriage, I don’t feel secure in the pregnancy unless I physically feel terrible. This pregnancy has been strong from the very beginning though, I don’t ever remember getting this sick this early. I threw up the day the egg implanted, I swear – and have had vague nausea off and on ever since. I burp all the time, which is just weird, I never do that, and I’m slightly horrified every time it happens. I don’t want to go too far, when I’m outside with the kids, just because I don’t know that I’m not going to have to throw up at any given point. I just burned some toast and nearly vomited from the stench of black bread, in fact, just thinking about it now is awful…

The kids are so good – so happy about the new baby and so considerate and kind. Jessie has been my water girl, she offers throughout the day to get me glasses of iced water and is so delightfully diligent about it. I hate water and have passed out from dehydration in the past, so I’m really, really trying to drink a LOT, and she’s made it so much easier for me. Sam is doing okay on the weaning as well. As goofy as it sounds, I filled up a bottle with icy cold milk yesterday and offered him that instead of nursing, and he was delighted. He’s not done with me yet, not by far, but I’m hopeful that it’ll taper off more, because it’s beginning to get really uncomfortable nursing. He understands that it hurts me, and is more willing to do something else instead – and for that, I’m very proud and grateful.

Summer is over, kind of. The temperatures and the humidity especially, has dropped off and it’s beginning to feel more like fall. Jessica Mary starts school in less than a week, and I already miss her.

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