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Feb 03

Morose

That’s me today. Part of it is just hormones, I’m sure, Marc and I didn’t have a sunshiney morning and that always makes my day lousy. Part of it is the doctors appt today – which I should be grateful about, because I do not have gestational diabetes or cholestatis. I didn’t want either of them. Gestational diabetes is just no fun all the way around, but I never really thought I had that. I am, however, chronically itchy, and was half heartedly hoping that the tests would show that there actually is a reason for it. Not that having it would be a good thing, it can lead to all sorts of complications and would absolutely mean that I couldn’t carry the baby to term. So it’s good that I don’t have it – but I’m so itchy. And being told that there’s no real reason for it, and basically, just keep suffering was not the most encouraging thing to hear. I’m all achy and sore and weepy – it’s just a crappy day today.

I’m also anemic – which explains why I’m so tired all the time.

Jess came home from school sick. She’s not hard core sick, but sick enough to want to be home on the couch. So she’s in her jammies, tucked on the couch with a snack and the Princess Bride. Sam’s actually in there too, chilling out – he loves Inigo Montoya, so he’s a happy boy as well.

Maybe I’ll go make some decaf coffee – trick myself into thinking it’s the real thing. Cheer myself up somehow – I do have so much more to be happy about than miserable. Itchy, I may be, achy, sore, and weepy – but my baby is healthy and growing, my boy is delighted and happy, and my girl is all snuggled up and warm. And even though I may be insanely irritated with my husband at the moment, I do love the big jerk, and I know that he truly didn’t go out of his way to make me nuts.

Screw the coffee – I’m digging out the ice cream. This mood elevation exercise is going to require the big guns.

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