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Feb 12

Some days are harder than others

Don’t get me wrong, I know how much worse it can be. I know, even not taking all of the pandemic stress and fear and illness into account, how much harder it can be when a child is seriously in trouble, sick, hurt, injured, etc.

This isn’t that. Whatever is going on – it’s not a traumatic brain injury that’s going to lead to permanent disability. It’s not a mental health crisis that threatens to spiral out of control unless we somehow manage to do exactly the right thing – and nobody can tell us what that right thing is.

This is just general hardness.

Jessie is struggling with second semester of senior year, senioritis and an overwhelming amount of stress bubbling up from knowing that she still doesn’t know where she’s going to college and how she’s going to pay for it. Every day is ridiculous – the classes are either mind-numblingly stupid or so hard she can’t figure it out. And there’s no middle ground – she’s either twiddling her thumbs or banging her head against the wall.

Sam is still sick. Still throwing up, still has a sore throat, and still feels awful. He’s on the third week of antibiotics, and was up again all last night. I’m half out of my mind worrying about him, and half reminding myself that we’ve been here before and it’s always fine. We’ve got another appt with another specialist next Friday – and I’m hoping for better information on what we’re dealing with. Is it just the allergies? Could that be the root of all of his problems? God, I hope so – because maybe that way, we could figure out a way to fix it.

Julie – my poor Julie. She hates this. Hates remote school. I think TECCA is better for her than homeschooling and I think homeschooling was better for her than remote schooling – but regardless of how much better it is – it still sucks for her. This is just awful for her. Not all the time, and we’ll survive it – but I think both of us are really looking forward to getting her back into regular brick and mortar school.

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