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Jan 30

toddler for sale

He’s really cute – dimples all over the place, affectionate (particularly if you have breasts and are willing to share), well versed in conversation (in that he never, ever stops talking), gifted in home repair (he has googles and isn’t afraid to use them, storms around the house, be-goggled and with a tool box in each hand and removed a wheel from the vacuum cleaner earlier) – and an amazing athletic ability – examples (just today) include fencing (I stab you in the EYE, Daddy!), diving (headfirst off the couch, almost breaking his neck, but as he explained patiently to me “I jumping in da water, Mama”), and football (he’s currently winging it around the living room and tackling what I can only assume are imaginary opponents)

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