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Mar 25

Why I hate candy

We just survived Purim and Easter. Part of the joy of being in somewhat interfaith relationship is that we celebrate every freaking holiday imaginable. Purim was fun – I got to experiment with different recipes until I found a really good one for hamentaschen and we went down to the synagogue for the Purim carnival. Huge improvement over last year, Sam screamed like a lunatic thru the entire reading last year, I spent most of it hiding in a storage room at the Westboro JCC, trying to get far away from the noise. This year, he sat on my lap and was happy enough to wave around the noisemaker.

Then we had Easter – which was actually a really nice day. I had gotten the kids baskets and filled them with a couple of cute little toys and a serious minimum of candy, because I like to make sure that the kids don’t eat junk. A little, sure, it’s a holiday – and I’m not a zealot about it, but as a rule, I don’t give the kids crappy food. We’ve had the same two bottles of soda in the fridge for months, because I don’t let the kids drink it. I’ve had the same two half gallons of leftover ice cream since Jessie’s birthday back in February. We had dinner at Annie’s – awhich was fabulous, then we went to my mother’s – which was also lovely (because my cranky sister had already left, and my horrible brother never showed at all).

But the girl got candy. Oh my gosh, did she get candy. And we’ve already had three knock down, dragged out screaming fights about it. She wants it all the time. Right now. And while I’m relaxed about many mothering things, I let them eat artificially flavored and colored cheese curls, I’ve given a two week old a taste of whipped cream – I flat out refuse to give her candy for breakfast. After lunch, I say. I’ll let you have some after lunch. So she immediately starts clamoring for lunch. At 9:30. Lunch, nothing will do but lunch immediately, so that she can then move onto the candy. I’ve threatened to throw it out if she doesn’t cut it out, and finally pacified her with three mini marshmellows (that way she feels like she won by getting junk but I wont because three mini marshmellows is nothing). But this whole battle has renewed my resolve to not ever, ever have candy in the house again. Easter and Halloween – my two least favorite holidays as a parent…

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