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Nov 18

Worrying will only make me crazy

This is my new theory.  Not only will freaking out over my impending homelessness make me insane, it will adversely affect my children, who are super sensitive to my moods.  Not that I’m going to be homeless – I’m not, obviously.  Our landlord isn’t going to throw us out on the street if we can’t find a place in time, and even if he did, we’ve got enough people who we could stay with temporarily until we find another place.  Our requirements aren’t grand, but they are specific – deleaded, three bedroom, in this area, and in our budget.  The perfect place is out there, and we’ll find it.

In other news – we’re getting the dumpster delivered tomorrow.   I’m very much looking forward to getting rid of a LOT of stuff.  Broken toys, random little McDonalds toys, stuffed animals they never touched, crap…  We’ve got a lot of crap.  I don’t really know how, because we are exceptionally frugal and rarely actually buy anything new.  But both the older kids are complete packrats and save everything they’ve ever seen.  My problem is that I’ve only got Monday and Tuesday to be throwing stuff of theirs away – because after that, they’ll be home “helping” me go thru the playroom.

The kids are holding together well, I think.  They’re both aware that we are moving, and I keep presenting it as a wonderful new adventure.  Something fun and exciting, and I keep repeating that they don’t have to worry, Daddy and I will find the perfect place near their friends and they won’t have to change schools.  But I know it’s hard for them.  Jessie worries so much about everything, she’s a thoughtful kid, and somewhat of an anxious one – so I know that this is going to be an issue.  And Sammy is so attached to things – he really, really doesn’t like change.  What makes me so angry is remembering how hard it was for him to move here last year for him, how sad he was to leave our last place.  Somewhere deep inside, in a place that I’m trying to ignore, I’m absolutely enraged that I have to do this to him again.  I would never have moved in the first place if I’d know it was for a year.

Change of topic – because anger, like worrying, isn’t going to be beneficial here… Julianna is walking.  Not all the time, but a LOT more than she used to be.  She’s on her feet more often than not, and going for longer distances.  She’s so cute and excited with herself, I love the look of concentration and pride on her face as she toddles around.

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