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May 20

Adjusting…

Feeling a bit pensive this morning…

All is well here, kids are all healthy (although not for long, if I keep forgetting to give Jessica her antibiotic – just realized that she didn’t get it this morning). Julie’s thrush is all cleared up, and nursing is virtually problem free these days. Sam is still sleeping (ironically, I’ve got one child who likes to start the day at five a.m., and one that’ll sleep until 10:30 on a good day), Jess had a rough morning because all of her clothes (all of them) looked “stupid” with sneakers and she has to wear sneakers for gym and she hates gym and her life is horrible. Sobbing hysterically on her bed, it was ugly. She did pull it together with a minimum of lecturing on my part, and left for school on time with a teary hug and tremulous smile, but she was clearly unhappy about it.

But the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming. It can’t be too awful… I’m going to give Julie a bath this morning – I like to make Marc do all the baths (I hate bathing children, don’t know why, all other parenting chores are kind of fun for me, but bathing is the worst) but he’s been slacking and my girl is grubby. She’s not, really, but a bath is still a good idea. Then I’m going to take Harrison and Sam out and about, probably to the park and then to the store.

Jessie’s dance recital is coming up soon. We had dance class for her yesterday and the mom’s were allowed in the watch them dance (which doesn’t happen all that often). And I got all misty, as I always do. She’s been dancing since she was two, and every single time I watch her dance with her class, my eyes well up. There’s something about it – she’s so beautiful and so exactly what I always wanted in a daughter. I think it’s the combination of seeing her so independent, doing something so separate from me in a class full of other girls her age, and the thought that if I could have known, in my mid-twenties, that one day, I’d have this gorgeous girl for my very own child… I wish I could somehow send a picture back to myself, to let my younger self see how rich my life would be. If that makes sense..

Baby girl peeping – have to go ๐Ÿ™‚

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