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May 02

For all my talk, I’m not much better at saying no

When I don’t want to do something. Within certain parameters. If my mother asks me. Or my favorite cousin. Then I grudgingly say yes, if it’s something I’d REALLY rather not do, and don’t do it gracefully. I wish this was different about me. I wish that I was a nicer person, and when I did say yes to things that I didn’t want to do, I would be able to smile and just do it to the best of my ability. But no, I’m grumpy and negative and hostile.

Plus I’m overtired and hormonal and really not happy with anyone today. Not my washing machine (which is currently spinning off balance and making WAY too much noise), not my siblings (who say no with wild and reckless abandon, and got to spend a beautiful Saturday hanging out with the their kids), not the American Cancer Society for thinking up the Relay in the first place, and last but certainly not least, I’m not all that happy with myself. Because if I committ to doing something, even if it’s something that I don’t want to do and don’t feel as though I had the option to refuse, I should at least do it gracefully and well.

Let’s hope for a better day tomorrow.

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