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Mar 01

I’m just worn out

All the time. It’s been a rough couple of days, big emotional battles all over the place, the kids have been at each other’s throats most of the time, I feel like I’m pushing a giant rock uphill and no sooner do I reach the top, then it all rolls down hill – at least as far as cleaning goes. I’ve got sixteen thousand projects that need to be completed before the baby comes, and no desire to do any of it.

Three is a lot harder than two – at least as far as Samilicious is concerned. He’s still deliciously Sammy – full of affection and love and sweetness, but there’s a lot of anger and frustration and general brattiness, especially where his older sister is concerned. He’s grown up so fast in the past couple of months, giving up the afternoon nap, giving up nursing and then potty training – and sometimes I wonder if it all was just too much too fast. Even though he did it all on his own, because I LOVED the afternoon nap, certainly would have kept nursing (although I was thrilled when he weaned) and I never expected him to potty train on his own. I feel like I’ve spent most of today trying to get him to stop being wretched and stop bothering his sister (who’s no angel, but really, Sam’s mostly to blame for their battles today).

Jessie has been super emotional as of late as well. Prone to tears and hysteria at the drop of a hat, which is normal for my girl, but it just seems as though I have significantly less patience these days for it. She ended up staying home from school today – mainly because of just massive miscommunication between Marc and I. He thought I wanted to keep her home (and I also think he was just so frustrated trying to deal with her that he was happy to leave her here and head off to work). So she’s home today, perfectly healthy, and has spent most of the day fighting with her brother.

There are a lot of perks to being me right now. Still pregnant, which, while frustrating and tiring – it’s still pretty magical, when I can remember to be grateful for it and not just aggravated because I can’t move around as easily as I used to. I’ve got two happy (well… I guess it’s relative), healthy kids. My husband loves me. I have food in the house, and my car is running well. It’s even March 1 – which is almost spring by any meaure, right? There’s lots to smile about – I just can’t muster up the energy to do any of it. It’s taking all I have to stagger thru the day, get clean clothes in the dresser, dinner on the table and the floors semi, sort of clean.

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