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Oct 26

I’m the worst mother in the world

Just ask Jess. She’ll tell you.

They say parenting isn’t easy. And when they say that, it’s not just because of the beginning, the nights of endless nursing, the ear infections, the fevers, the crying, the terrible twos. It’s because sometimes you have to intentionally make your kids miserable because making them happy would teach them the exact opposite of what you need for them to know. For example, allowing Jess to push aside dinner in favor of ice cream would not be a bright move. Further making her miserable by depriving her of all dessert because of the attitude that ensued when I didn’t give her the ice cream is what earned me the title of the worst mother EVER. She’s in her room right now, crying about how much she hates me. Or the situation – I don’t think she’s actually saying ‘I hate her’ I think she’s saying “I hate it.” Not that makes me feel any better…

Because I really struggle with this – I want my kids to be happy. It’s not that I want to indulge them, it’s that I hate having to on purpose make them miserable. I do it, and I know it’s the right thing to do, and maybe she’ll walk away from this knowing that lashing out with screaming and crying isn’t her best choice when it comes to negotiating. Maybe she’ll learn a little self control, a little respect… but it’s still an awful feeling to know that your child is miserable and it’s entirely your fault.

In other news – Marc’s co-worker was hospitalized with swine flu this weekend. He works in a small office and now I’m a little freaked out. This was a healthy guy – hospitalized with a really high fever and hallucinations. My OB has finally gotten the vaccine in and I have an appt on Wednesday to get my immunization. But the pediatrician and Marc’s primary have no idea when the vaccine will be available for the kids or for my diabetic husband. I don’t normally rush to get the flu shot, some years I get it, some years I don’t, and if it works out that I’m at the doctor with the kids during flu season, they get the vaccine, but I know they haven’t every year. This H1N1 flu is freaking me out, because every morning on the news they tell me how critical it is that pregnant women and small children need to get it.

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