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Oct 18

Stolen moments

That’s when I write now.  In stolen moments, when I should be doing the dishes.  Or the laundry, or figuring out where I stuffed all the bat mitzvah stuff from last October.  But all of that can wait, at least for a bit, while I write for a just a bit.

Yesterday, we had a family party – my cousin Shane and his fiance had their housewarming party.  I sent Sam’s to Harrison’s house and took the girls with Marc and I.  When asked, I explained that I only make him go to every second or third party – which is just a good policy for my introverted little boy.  He had a blast, didn’t come home until after nine, and the girls had fun too.   When Becky and I were little, we were always together at family parties, and I looked at Becky yesterday and told her that ten years from now, Julie and Abby were going to be going for long walks during the family parties, Becky and I used to wander away from the Bog House (where all the family parties were held when I was a kid) and talk, talk, talk.   Now, instead of being one of the grumpy teenagers trying to escape all the drama, I’m one of the grown ups – I sit at the tables and talk, deal with my own grumpy teenager and my daughter spends the entire party talking to nobody except for her favorite cousin.

In other news – this is such an incredibly busy time for us.  I feel like I’m overwhelmed and constantly trying to catch up – everywhere.  I never have enough time at work, and have even less at home.  I’m never caught up on laundry or dishes, and on the days when I can’t be home after school pick up – I pay for it later.  All it takes is one afternoon of Julie playing in the dining room and not cleaning up – or one day of not doing the dishes after dinner, one day of actually folding the laundry and depositing it in the kids room – and the entire house looks like a bomb went off.   I’ve always got shopping to do – there’s this rotating list of things I need to buy for the kids (boots for the girls, hats/mittens for the kids…) and as soon as I manage to click something off, three more things get added.

Sam’s been struggling with some (relatively minor, thank goodness) health issues.  He’s always had some stomach issues – he had colic and reflux when he was little and we thought he had mostly outgrown it.  But more and more, I’m noticing that his stomach is a problem.  He throws up usually once or twice a month, and has diarrhea probably three or four times a month.  He complains about his stomach – a lot.   It’s tough to tease out if it’s just the anxiety or something else.   But his doctor put him on prilosec and thinks he’s got GERD.  I did a little Web-MD-ing (because I’ve now made that a verb), and I think he might also have IBS.  They tend to go hand in hand, anxiety, GERD and IBS – and it would explain all the symptoms.   He’s not hard core sick, which is part of why I haven’t really perused it – but I’m going to bring him in to the doctor’s this week for a follow up appointment, after starting him on the prilosec and see if I can get more definitive answers (because web md-ing isn’t really a good way to diagnose, long term).

But despite the lack of time, it’s a happy and focused time too.  Marc had what we’re terming his “soft opening” of his new office.  It’s still a mess, but he’s got a desk, a computer, and keys to the door and bathrooms.   He’s still got to get a conference room table, a little fridge and coffee pot, a filing cabinet and pictures on the wall – but he’s got his own office, and I couldn’t be prouder of him.   Also couldn’t be happier, because not having that hour long commute is going to make such a difference.  He’s still working between fifty and sixty hours a week, but now it’ll all be local.

So all is well.  Stressed and busy and overwhelmed – but happy.  Jessie is so in love with Model UN, and growing up so fast.  She’s so much fun – and one of my favorite things about Jessie is that she’s legitimately one of my best friends.  I know that I’m not supposed to say that – I’m the parent, and she needs me to be her mother and not her buddy.  All that being said – she’s still smart, and funny, and sarcastic and has a perspective on things that I value more and more.  The mother/daughter relationship is one of my favorites (both as a daughter and as a mother), and I’m so grateful for her.  My Sammy is nine – and within striking distance to becoming a tween instead of a kid.  Raising a son is constantly a surprise to me, and the older I get, the rarer those snuggles are.   He’s still a little boy sometimes, but more often he’s a big, bold kid.  Lost in computer games (and so freaking smart that it throws me off – he intuitively understands things that baffle me), and still my happy-go-lucky-unless-he’s-not-in-which-case-all-hell-is-going-to-break-loose boy.  Julie is my little cuddle bug (I’m typing now, with her leaning against my arm).  She’s learning all her letters and starting to sound things out – she’s taken to writing out things for us with random letters, convinced that she’s writing words that make sense.

Everyone is growing, everything is moving forward – and even though I’m frantic and stressed more than half the time, there’s also quiet moments of peace and contentment.  I’m gradually getting used to this stage in life, when the kids are all still little enough to need a lot of attention, but big enough to all go to the bathroom, some of them do their own homework, and everyone can dress themselves and put themselves to bed (kind of).   The stage where I have no time.  Ever.  But somehow things still get done, half-assed and haphazardly, but functional.  For the most part.  Marc and I still need to find some time alone, but that always seems to fall to the bottom of the list.   Formal date nights, at least.  He’s my first call, all the time, my favorite person to talk to, and the one who’s opinion I value the most.  We manage to carve out connections, talking off and on throughout the day, spending ten or fifteen minutes alone each morning, drinking coffee and watching the news.

But now the laundry beckons, and the sunlight is streaming in on the barbies and library books and discarded empty lunchboxes on the dining room table.  I’ve got three hours before I have to be anywhere, two kids to shower/bathe, three more loads of laundry, and innumerable dishes.  Grocery shopping, and OMG – I just remembered I have to get Halloween costumes this weekend.



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